Trials of online dating

Just a summary of this week in online dating:

Visitors to my page included someone with the screen name “pukeone” Is it just me or is that very unappealing?

I got some lovely messages:

  • one from this lovely guy:

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  • A very polite young man fromĀ  Barcelona wanting to be facebook friends.
  • And a married guy looking for some company while he goes through a “rough” time in his marriage.

And in my suggested matches I got:

  • An ex-boyfriend
  • And this guy:

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I would really like to know what 10% this guy and I match in so I change mine.

Yup, just a week in the life of online dating.

Phrases to make me cringe

I’m not sure what these men are thinking when they fill out their online dating profiles. I don’t know, maybe some women just have much lower standards than I do. If a profile contains any of the following, you get 1 star and I move on immediately.

I work hard and play harder
Maybe some women are looking for a party but I’m looking for a partner. Nothing screams, “alcoholic” more than this phrase!

I never much got into reading
Even if you aren’t much of a reader, to me this statement says, “I’m uneducated.” Now, I realize not everyone reads as much as I do and I don’t expect them to. I would love to meet a man who shares my passion for books but I haven’t found one yet and that’s okay. But, a certain level of intelligence is implied in the ability to at least name a book you read and enjoyed sometime over the past decade!

Using i instead of I
Really? You can’t hit that pesky little shift key? This implies you either don’t care about the impression you are making or you don’t actually know how to type with more than 2 fingers.

Topless photos showing everything but the actual goods

You are obviously looking for one of 2 things. Casual sex or someone to boost your ego. No thanks.

Just a few more notes
Spellcheck is your friend. Don’t use a photo of yourself holding a baby as your profile pic! And WHAT is up with all the men with funky, weird goatees or other oddly shaped facial hair???? That is NOT attractive. And grainy pictures where I can’t make out your face or group shots where it’s not clear which one you are just imply you have something to hide.

These are just my absolute online dating turnoffs. A lot more can go wrong in a profile or during those first few messages. What are some of your absolute turnoffs?